Samba, Speedboats and Waterfalls

After we finally left Sao Paulo, we got to our destination called Florianopolis to be greeted by lots of sunshine which was good considering we were going to spend the next 4 days lying on the beach or by the hostel pool. After a short bus ride and another which lasted too long (e.g we missed our stop and had a guided tour of the island.) We got to our hostel and decided that we were going to chill out by the pool and have a few beers, however our chips were quickly pissed on when the rain came to spoil our fun. This turned into a regular occurrence of the rest of our stay, we’d get up thinking the rain would leave us alone, we’d have chance to eat breakfast then it would piss down again.

We did as much as we could do to keep entertained – we would do our washing, eat, drink, play uno, I’d read, Leah would look at the pictures but the boredom was still there. However, one night we did manage to get out with everyone from the hostel and go to a local Samba club. Now, after our little visit to the club in Sao Paulo we’d thought we were experts in Samba. To cut a long story short (as my dad would say..) we got to this club and it resembled the Ferny on a Sunday night (Anyone over the age of 28 and from Aberdare will be smiling as they read this) it was essentially a wooden shack – on stilts rammed with loads of young boys and girls wanting to get shit-faced and get off with each other.

Now, when I was going out looking for women, you would drink a few pints with the boys, stand on the side of the dance floor and when a bird gave you the eye or one you thought would be up for it looked at you, you would go up to her and ask her if she fancied a drink and then maybe at the end of the night you’d get lucky and you’d end up pulling her. Nope, not in Brazil. The etiquette is this – you see a bird you fancy/has a pulse, go up to her and start Samba dancing with her. Pretty simple really and in the 45mins we were there I saw a few boys get lucky – fair play I thought must tell the boys back home. So off I go’s to get Leah and I a drink, instructing Leah to not move and stay where she was. I return armed with drinks after queuing twice for things as you do in Brazil (1 to pay and get a chitty and the second to get my drink), to find Leah looking panic stricken dancing with this lad who thinks he’s Brazil’s answer to Patrick Sweazy. He clocks me and is soon standing on Leah’s toes better than I can and making his exit.

Apart from the Samba party, Florianopolis was pretty much a non-event for us. So we decided we should head off and make it to Iguazu Falls. Now, apart from Christ the redeemer, this was the other thing that I wanted to see in South America, after seeing the falls in James Bonds - Moonraker when Bond drives a boat over the edge of the falls and flies off in a hang glider. So we left Florianopolis on another overnight bus to get to Iguazu. For those of you that didn’t know, Iguazu straddles the border between Brazil and Argentina and the falls can be seen from the both sides. We were told that the Argentina side provided the more up close and personal view but the Brazil side provides the better perspective, but it was well worth seeing them from the Brazilian side if you can. We got to the park minus our bags and got to see them from the Brazilian side and was totally blown away by what we got to see.  I’d imagined seeing them from some platform where we could see them in the distance but when we got there we got soaked by the spray from the falls. I started thinking about the drunken conversation a few nights before and had I got it wrong – was the Brazilian side the one that you got up close and personal with?

We woke up the following morning and made our way to the park from the Argentina side and were again totally mesmerised by it! (You can start to see a pattern here – I liked the falls!)  Anyway, after 5 hours of taking photos and just watching water falling off big cliffs and getting soaked by the spray we’d decided to take the advice of some guys we’d met in the bar the night before, that a ride in a speed boat taking you right up and actually into the waterfalls was a must see. Surprisingly Leah was bang up for it too (She’s even considering paragliding soon but I can’t see her doing a bungee when we get to NZ!) after paying our money and signing our life away we got our lifejacket’s on and got on the boat to take up the last two seats on the boat. We’d been told to wear only swimming clothes on so Leah’s got her Bikini on and I’m in my best Baywatch shorts that would give Hasslehoff a run for his money! Now I’d always expected there to be some pikey young kid (Equipped with a baseball hat the wrong way around) driving the boat with a heavy right foot to give us maximum thrill factor. Sadly as I got on the boat I’d clocked the driver and a pair of driving gloves, a pipe and a dai cap would be better suited. However we soon found out this guy was re-living his youth and drove us all head long into the falls and got everyone in the boat duly soaked, after a few high-speed blasts and turns I turned around expecting to see him grinning like a Cheshire cat, sadly he was just sat there expressionless . I guess once you’ve seen a load of tourists soaked once it’s not that funny, when it’s the 15^th time and the end of the day you just want to go home!

That night we decided to celebrate at the hostel and as it was ½ price drinks for 3 hours of the night we were going to get on it. So the Cubra Libre’s were flowing and everyone chatting around by the pool and with Leah only having had 2 drinks. I turn around to find her rolling backwards down the stairs, her drink going in the air and the prospect of another 5 steps for her to go I do the just and honest thing and instead of helping her up , I get the camera out to take a photo! We’d heard that it was a party hostel so we expected kids drinking all night by the pool and not much sleep.  At 1am everyone had gone to bed and all that was left was Leah and I and two other’s we’d met the day before propping up the bar until 4 am. You’ll all be pleased to hear that we filled one side of the bar (About 5.5ft) in empty 600ml bottles of lager!

Anyway we’d been totally absorbed by the falls and hadn’t managed to get around them in one day so decided that we had to go back for the second day and take them up on the offer of a second days’ entry at ½ price. We went back to take some more photos and have a walk around as the weather had improved over night, sadly this was not good for my hangover and Leah had to put up with:

“Lea – I’m bad. Can we have a sit down?” & “Shit, I’m getting old. I can’t drink like I use to”

Normally – met by

“Look, forget the hangover, where are the monkeys?”

Anyway we’ve got loads of photos and some videos for you to see the falls. Photos don’t do it justice so have a look at these videos to “Wet” your appetite… (I’ll get my coat!)

First Video

Second Video

Amazing – hey?

Finally - I have to apologise for the delay in writing these blog updates. This was over a week and ½ ago but as you can imagine, us creative, arty people struggle to keep churning out quality work day after day and I’ve had a lot on! It’s also been absolutely boiling here so I’ve struggled to think let alone type. Anyway, it’s now Christmas eve and we’re off out tonight for celebrations with the Argentinians (They celebrate Christmas tonight) We’re off to the beach tomorrow and then it’s a BBQ on the roof of our hostel tomorrow evening/night. Feliz Navidad to you all! 

Patience in Sao Paulo

After the 7.5 hour bus journey, 2 metro rides and a taxi ride we got to our hostel at quarter to midnight, we had all sorts of thoughts – are they going to be open, will they have let our beds go, because we told them we’d be there by 7, etc. but we were pleased to find that they were open, they hadn’t let our beds go and to our surprise – they even knew our names when they opened the door for us! Now, that’s rare – Casa Club was going to be our base for the next few days.

Sao Paulo is a huge city, with a very American theme running through it. Distance is measured in blocks, there’s valet parking everywhere and the hilly streets remind me very much of San Francisco. Casa Club was located within one of the new, up and coming neighbourhoods called Vila Madalena. There were a few hostels to choose from but the reviews for Casa Club were really good and it certainly didn’t disappoint. The hostel was owned by most of the staff and Paulo and Leo were helpful giving us information on where we should go in the city and on what days and giving us the lowdown on the best places to go. Which is a good job really as there’s over 15,000 bars, restaurants and nightclubs in Sao Paulo and over 400 museums (You know we love our museums – yeah?).

We checked in and Paulo takes us up to our room (as it was a city and somewhere where we’d be out of the hostel a lot, we decided that a private room wasn’t worth it and we’d be staying in a dorm) In every dorm we’ve stayed in there have been  bunk beds and in some places there are triple bunk beds and to date – Leah hasn’t had the option of staying on the bottom bunk!  Something that is starting to get to her – I hope our next place offers her the bottom bunk! (Argentina – are you listening?)

Anyway we went to bed in readiness for a busy day the following day, as you can imagine getting up on to the top bed of a bunk bed is difficult when you’re trying to not to disturb the person below. As I’ve always been on the top bunk I’ve never actually seen Leah getting into a bunk bed and I have to say, it is something that you have to see! She does however confess that she’s not that ladylike, putting that aside for one minute – it’s hilarious, she bangs both her shins on the ladder on the way up then when she gets to the top, takes an age to turn and get into the bed – its nigh on hilarious. I even found myself waking up 5mins before her 7:15 toilet trip just so that I could see her climbing down the ladder!

As I said earlier the hostel owners were great in advising us where we should go on each day and they advised of us of a brief tour of the city, taking in the sights and sounds of the huge city that is Sao Paulo.  They’d advised us that a local club was well worth a visit as they have live music, if I’m honest I had pictured a group of past it old blokes playing with their banjo-strings but in fact when we got there we realised that we’d gone to an awesome Samba club. Now, we all know that I love a dance as much as the next person (more if I’m standing next to Pie) but this club was amazing, there were people dancing up from the minute the band had started, which is quite different from the usual in my local, where blokes have to sink at least 10 pints of Stella before they’ll even get their left leg twitching. It was truly amazing, to see people young and old, getting up and jigging about.

In fact, it got a bit heated and I’d never had myself down as a bit of a prude but to see people with hands over each other from start to finish was great/a bit much (delete as appropriate.)  I know I should be prepared for such eventualities - I have been to the “boot” on a Sunday night before but to see a woman’s eyes being crossed and her hair everywhere as her partner is rubbing up against her Samba style a true eye opener!

We were also told that Brazil has a national football museum, located in Sao Paulo. Now, I’m not that bothered about football if I’m honest but I thought my mates (who are all massive football fans) would disown me if I had the option of going to the museum and turned it down. After eventually finding it, I can honestly say that we both had an amazing afternoon and learnt so much about the “beautiful” game. The following day, happy about our cultured day at the museum, we decided that we should go to another museum we were told that the Portuguese language museum was well worth it so we made our way to it, paid our entrance fee and then spent the next 2 hours being totally clueless and understanding nothing. It would seem that the language museum is all in Portuguese and has not a single sign, piece of information or any additional piece of information in English! Disappointing to say the least…. However, the highlight of the day was to be our evening meal, we stopped for food in a little place in the Japanese district of Sao Paulo that had been recommended to us by the Lying Planet. It said it is one of the best places to get authentic Japanese food at the cheapest prices. For once, it wasn’t lying to me this was the best Japanese food I have ever tasted. The biggest bowl of noodles, veg, pork and broth I’ve seen, enough to keep even the Pie and his monster hunger at bay all for the very small amount of £4!

All good things must come to an end and with the help of the guys at the hostel we’d booked our bus journey to a place called Florianopolis, the journey was going to be a mammoth 12 hours so we’d booked an overnight bus to enable us to save money on a bed for the night and not have to waste our days on a bus. So, armed with our booking reference number and seat numbers we made it to the bus terminal early to get something to eat before the journey. For those of you that don’t know, Sao Paulo has the second largest bus terminal in the world and our bus was on Platform 4 out of 89! As we were early we decided to go and get some food and get to our bus stop early, being the boy-scout I am, I thought I’d better check with the guys that I had the right bus stop. The dude there confirmed I was at the right one - result! The driver hops out and an orderly queue forms, we get in the queue and I leave Leah to manage it while I take a pee. I return to see Leah in a state of panic and I realise that I’ve got the reference number including seat numbers; I calm every one down and produce the necessary numbers.

Then the driver drops the line – “You need ticket – no ticket, no autobus” So I run up the escalator, the 100m through the middle of the bus station, to the ticket office to be confronted with 3 queues of at least 15 people to each window, so I bite the bullet and push past them all where I can feel all of their eyes focusing on the back of my head, I point out to the stupid bint that the bus should be leaving now and I need to be on this bus! She then tells me that she needs our passports – I could have died. So, I turn around and run all the way back to get the passports – Leah’s face was of sheer relief however this turned quickly to fear when she realised I needed the passports and again I set off like Linford Christie’s training partner. I get back to the front of the queue, the guy hands me the tickets and I make it back to the bus, expecting to see Leah lying down behind the bus to stop it from leaving without us. No, in fact Leah is sat on the bus in our seats calm as anything and I’m a total bath of sweat from running the 1000m in an Olympic gold time. Now, before we left my mate Van handed us a list of the 10 travelling commandments, following his travels a few years ago. 

Number 4 reads –

“Be Patient – You’re not going to catch every bus/train, instead of getting angry use the time to explore”

Now butt, I’d seen a fair bit of Sao Paulo and I’d paid £70 for my bus ticket, like hell was I going to relax – I’ve got the legs for it, so I wasn’t going to miss that bus. I’m sure you can understand that… (It was £70 after all… Enough to get you back into your house after you’ve locked yourself out!?)

Next stop is a little place called Florianopolis for a few days then we’re off to The Iguasu Falls. Hopefully we’ll catch every bus without hassle this time…

Birthdays, buses, boats, booze, BBQ’s and Baby David!

As it was Leah’s birthday weekend, we decided that this should not go without miss and booked a room on an island called Ilha Grande. We’d heard lots about it and couldn’t wait to get there, a proper oasis, no roads, no cars a proper little remote island. We were told to take extra money, not because it’s expensive but because there’s no cashpoints on the island. To get over to the island we needed to catch the once a day ferry from Angra Dos Res, which in itself was a challenge.

Buses in Brazil seem to have the most stupid turn style right in the middle of the bus where some fat, over opinionated bint sits, whilst listening to samba music on her phone and grunts at people when they ask for a ticket. Now, this turnstile is a bitch to manoeuvre when you’ve got your towel and wallet in your hand let alone when you look like a turtle with an extension, equipped with your 75kg backpack on your back and a rucksack on your front!  To expect some patience and some consideration from this woman would be I guess, expecting too much. She does have some samba music to listen to and chocolate milk to drink, so I guess I’m the fool for expecting it!

I was going to dedicate a whole post on the blog on my view of Brazilian people, then after I started writing it I realised that it would be wrong of me to bundle them all in together. So, I won’t! But I will dedicate this rant to people that work on the bus network!

Our first poor experience of these people started in Rio, we got to the Rodivario (Portuguese for bus station, I know – check me out!) again poor signage didn’t help us but we needed to get our tickets to get to Paraty and there was no obvious ticket office apart from a little shed (Lonely planet was of no help it said there was a little shed out front selling tickets). So off we go, like turtles and we approach these 3 women with the view that they may be able to help direct us to the relevant ticket office, no! First of all they refused to acknowledge us (by totally ignoring our existence!) Then,  Leah stood in and with her best Spanish asked for two tickets to Paraty. I know, they get people asking them for things in broken Portuguese/Spanish daily but there’s no need to be so rude about it. What happened next was actually the rudest thing I’ve ever seen. Two of the women leave their colleague in the shit and alone with us and this last woman shakes her head, gets her big ass finger out and waves it in our face indicating NO! Then puts her big ass finger to her mouth to tell us to shut up and corrects us on our pronunciation of Paraty (it should be pronounced Para-chee), so we walk off cheesed off, insulted and mouthing some obscenities at her.

Once we were off the bus, we needed to find the port to get the bus. Now my powers of deduction are en par with Hercule Poirot. The port has to be near the sea and will generally have big boats in it I think, so rather than asking some local drunk I decided that I knew better, we’ve now managed to pick up two guys who are getting the ferry over to Ilha Grande too so we set off, safe in the knowledge that I know where we need to go. After 5mins of wandering aimlessly in 30 degree heat I give in and decide it would be better to ask for directions – fortunately for my pride I was leading our troop in the right direction. We turn a corner and are at the port, we’re aware that we have 2 hours to wait but as true brits we thought it better to be a little bit early!

As we’re making our way to the (empty) ticket office this dude comes up to us and offers us 

an alternative to being bored for the 2 hour wait, it becomes apparent that he’s no expert magician prepared to entertain us with his magic card tricks but has another “Super Fast” boat that he can take us over the island on and it will leave in 10mins but it’ll cost R$25. Like the money conscious travellers  we have become, I point out that the ferry is only R$7 and we’re prepared to wait two hours for R$18 (Note – at this time I became the voice for our group of 4!) so we walk off in disgust towards the ferry cool as cucumbers, knowing that this dude had plenty of room for haggling. Our group of 4 now becomes 5 with this guy hot in pursuit, instantly he tells us that he’s feeling kind and that he can drop it down to R$15 but we must not tell anyone else on the boat that we’ve had it cheap, again I nominate myself as the voice for the group and point out that he must be able to reduce it a bit more as its still double the cost of the normal ferry, he gives in and takes it down to R$10. So we agree and head towards the dock expecting some speed boat that will get us there in minutes, sadly this is not to be. We were greeted with what resembled the titanic having been resurrected from the ocean floor with a few bits of wood added to make it sea-worthy, we eventually set sail and over 2 hours later we get to the island.

After getting off the boat, we try and find our hostel in amongst the hundreds of restaurants, shops, and other hostels. I have to ask the question – if you see two people sweating, looking like turtles do you think it’s appropriate to ask them there and then when their clearly not interested if they would like to go scuba-fucking-diving? No, nor me. So why this one guy did I don’t know but it was met with the international look of – “Leave us alone butt”. After 5mins we decided to down tools, find a bar, get a drink and send one of us off to find the hostel. Being the gent I am, I suggest to Leah that she should sit down while I go and find the hostel. However, women weren’t burning their bras for nothing in the 60’s and Leah insist that she should go and do it and who am I to argue, within seconds I’m sat down my book is out of the bag and I’ve got Pedro getting me a beer. Leah returns later sweating and exhausted to tell me that she’s found it but it’s a bit of a walk…

We finally get to the hostel and are introduced to the lad that runs the place who looks not that much older than Leah’s nephew Iestyn. His name’s David and it became quickly apparent that he’s a bit of a wide boy and can you get anything you want legal or un-legal. After filling in the necessary forms we go to pay to be told by David that the hostel doesn’t accept cards and he’s a cash-only kind of guy! Balls – we don’t have enough money to pay for the hostel and eat and drink for 3 days plus as I’ve said there are no cashpoints on the island! However, David does have a plan and that plan is he’ll come with us to the mainland on Monday and we can get cash out for him there and then – sorted!

After a huge thunderstorm, that’s good enough to make Shaggy and Scooby jump into bed together we wake up to a clear day with not a cloud in the sky – not a bad day for Leah’s birthday! We booked a boat trip to one of the famous beaches on the island, called Lopez Mendes.  Our boat picks us up directly from the jetty at the hostel and we’re greeted with one of the whitest beaches I have ever seen – so crisp from the previous night’s storm it’s like walking on snow!

The photo just doesn’t do it justice but you can at least see how deserted it was and how stunning the views were….

We celebrated Leah’s birthday night with a BBQ at one of the many bars on the beach, called Café Do Mar (Which we’re told is legally different to the famous Ibiza bar, even though the sign looked exactly the same!) We finally left the bar at 2am after drinking as much Brahma as they could throw our way to celebrate Leah's Birthday in style! (Lianne/James – No Rules! ;-))

When it finally came to leaving on Monday morning we were confronted with really bad rain, which made leaving the island tolerable. The walk to the port, soaking wet and our bags soaking wet made it less tolerable however. We’re currently sat in the local bus station waiting for our bus to Sao Paulo which is going to take 7.5 hours! Hopefully we can sleep or it’ll be a killer game of eye-spy!

Will let you know what Sao Paulo had to offer…

Chilling, sunburn and eating dry food..

After getting to Paraty, we immediately fell in love with the place. Wikipedia describes the place as

“…located on the Bay of Ilha Grande, which is dotted with many tropical islands. Rising up as high as 1,300 meters behind the town are tropical forests, mountains, and waterfalls.”

What it doesn’t tell you is that it’s the most beautiful place ever, has over a 100 beaches within an hour bus ride and has an incredibly relaxed atmosphere which we fell in love with immediately. After months of planning to get away, the last few weeks in work being crazy and the hard slog of the Inca trail we decided that it was time to chill and that Paraty was going to be the place to do  it. Having pre-booked 3 nights we quickly realised that 3 nights wouldn’t be enough and wanted to stay here for the rest of the week.

Our hostel was located directly across from a small beach, serving  good, cheap food every night and had some good staff (aside from one stupid bint – ask Leah when you speak to her next and she’ll have the pleasure of telling you the story….)

The 4 hour bus journey went without any mishaps on my behalf; I’d employed the services of a cork for the bus. After getting to Paraty, we grabbed a shower, unpacked our stuff and sent our first load of washing off to be cleaned (Leah approved of the launderette  because the towels smelled nice…)

We awoke to our first day of “proper” sun and off to be the beach we went, factor 30 covering my pasty white body. I’d set up stall for the day and intended on getting a tan! After 2 hours in the sun I was sweating like *insert your chosen sweating phrase* so decided a quick swim was in order! After my best Duncan Goodhew impression and I’m back on dry land. Now as any seasoned sun worshipper knows, there’s no point in putting sun cream on a wet body, so rather than towel dry myself and risk the annoyance of rubbing  sand on to my body I thought – “I’ll let the sun dry my skin!” and this is where it all went wrong for me, 15mins later and I’m as dry as a bone. However, this was at the expense of my skin. I’ve had sunburn before, who hasn’t? But I certainly have never had sunburn in my armpits before! Now the next two days are spent with me looking like a Rhondda boy with my arms at last 8inches away from my sides. Who needs carpets under your armpits when you can’t physically put your arms by your side! (Don’t even ask how I did it but needless to say I won’t be lying on my back, reading my book again!)

The next few days were spent in the shade when there was sun but generally we had some poor weather which neither of us were bothered about as it was just nice to sit, surf the net and read a book.  We did however, manage to get ourselves on to a boat trip where we spent the day snorkelling and swimming with turtles!

Now, my boss wasn’t too happy about me leaving my job and on my final day said to me -

“So this is you off to go and do your “thing”?”

The day spent on the boat, finally made me realise that yes, this is me doing my “thing”…. [Insert the biggest smile you can ever possibly find….]

Fortunately, the sickness and dodgy stomach has now lifted and we’re both able to start eating again!  Dry food was the only source of vitamins, minerals and energy for nearly 5 days, thankfully pasta, freshly caught fish and meat are now on the menu, I can’t wait!

We have been fortunate to meet lots of different people so far, our hostel in Paraty was a stopping point for the journey from Sao Paulo to Rio and we were able to quiz other people and gather lots of information. One destination that kept popping up was Ilha Grande, which by the sounds of it is a bit of an oasis with, no roads, no internet, no cashpoints and just lots of beautiful beaches littered with chilled out bars! Sounds like the perfect place for Leah to spend her birthday weekend.

We’re currently on the way there, more to update once we’re back in civilisation!

Tanks, Favelas, Clouds and the shits…

From an early age I’d been aware of the infamous Christ the redeemer statue and had always wanted to visit it. Then after I’d watched the episode of “Ross Kemp on Gangs” when he visited a Rio favela, Rio was a “must see” city.

After an overnight flight from Lima to Rio which as those of you will know is a cross between a good and bad thing. (Good because you don’t need to pay for a nights accommodation somewhere, bad because you don’t get a decent night’s sleep and if there’s a time difference when you land this is made worse).

We followed the advice given to us and saved ourselves a fortune by catching the bus to Copacabana where our hostel was located. This turned out to be a real eye opener with the bus taking us through the heart of the city, allowing us to get a glimpse of what’s actually going on out there. We got to our hostel fairly easily and as we were early, dumped our bags, got some breakfast and headed off for a walk around the local area. Our hostel was very close to Copacabana beach, as its iconic Leah and I couldn’t wait to get down the front and get on the sand. Unfortunately, time hasn’t been good to Copacabana and it now resembles Benidorm. Disappointed to say the least….

However, not ones to be downbeat we decided to explore the city and see what else is on offer, we managed to find another beach a 10min walk from Copacabana called Ipaneama. This was 100% better, clean water, much quieter and the road behind less busy.

We came back to the hostel later in the afternoon to be shown to our room, which was to be an eye opener if nothing else. The guy takes me and Leah upstairs into a room full of 6 bunk beds, with 3 levels, that’s 18 beds! Being the gentleman I offer Leah first pick and she nabs the middle bunk on one of the beds and I’m left with the top one. Now, those of you that have seen the infamous bungee video know that I haven’t really got a head for heights. So I clamber up the ladder and get to the top try it out, shitting it doesn’t describe it. How the hell am I going to sleep up here without falling out of bed or dying from a nosebleed? Anyway, getting up was the easy bit, having to turn around and get on to the ladder was the difficult bit. 5mins later and I’ve made it down much to the amusement to the others in the dorm. Anyway Leah and I find somewhere local to eat and get to bed at a decent time, ready to do some sightseeing the following day. (We’d both been concerned that we would be waken at 4 by the rest of our “roomies” as the rest of the hostel were pissed before we went to bed and they were going on to a club).

We both wake up at 9 surprisingly for the first time to be confronted with a room of sleeping beauties and a snoring Siberian. We’d booked a trip to one of the Favelas for the morning, so needed to be ready for our guide. Our Hostel sponsored a local project in this particular favela with it supplying left over clothes and money to an education centre in the Videgal favela. The hostel benefited by the teachers at the centre turning into guides for us. We’d opted to do this tour as it seemed a bit more respectful compared to the other tour where you were driven around each favela and were allowed to take photos at particular times. Can’t see people of Penrhys or the Gurnos being too happy with a similar set up either can you?

Anyway, we meet up with our guide for the morning. A girl called Pia who teaches Spanish in the centre and she explains that within this (particularly small) favela there were over 50,000 people living there, very few of the people there work and none of them are supported by a benefits system so in essence, they’re on their arse.

Now, there’s something amazing about the human race. All of these people have everything that they need, but don’t actually pay for it. They steal electricity from the local streetlights and manage to get to cable TV again by taking it straight from the cables in the streets. It just goes to show that when you don’t provide for people they will manage. Something for David Cameron to consider??

Since our arrival in Rio, there’s been a huge cloud over the city, which has kept it really humid. However we were told by the staff in the hostel that this would seriously affect our ability to get a good view of Christ the redeemer and get a good view over Rio. However, the day we visited the favela the air quality seemed to be a bit better and there were significantly fewer clouds in the sky. So we decided that we would risk it and see if we could get up to see Christ and see what the views are like looking down on the city.

An hour bus journey later followed by a short mini bus ride and we get to the first viewing point with spectacular views of Rio. However, as you can see by the photos there was still enough low cloud to spoil the party.. :-(

Now, one of my best mates said to me as I was leaving:

“Chud – I don’t want fuck all from your travels. I just want a photo of that fucking statue in Rio. Of Christ like…..”

So as Leah and I were travelling to the site of the statue, I kept on about the promise that I had made to Neil and that I had to get him a photo of Christ. We set off and started climbing the mountain, within minutes we were in deep cloud, I was gutted and Leah could see this. 

So as ever, she started trying to be the optimist saying things like –

“Don’t worry, we’ll get above the cloud now..” and “I’m sure it’ll blow away when we get there..”

But, I knew that we were in for a royally shit time. So I get out of the bus with as much excitement as Roland from Grange Hill when he sees the tuck shop. But, I knew it, the cloud was down and there was no sign of it shifting. Even the numerous tat shops at the top were even closing down realising that to stay open is fruitless, no-one is going to come up because it’s impossible to see anything.  Like true Brits, we try and outstay the cloud and get numerous photos of Christ for Neil to stick up on his walls.

So here it is butt, the best photo out of the bunch:

I’m sorry it’s shit but it’s the best I could get. Better than a straw donkey from Spain though?

We had decided that this was to be our last day in Rio (to be honest it wasn’t really a city for us), so it was time to move on. People in the hostel had been raving about a place called Paraty (Pronounced Para-ch-ee) so we booked ourselves into a hostel down there for a few nights. With us leaving Rio we decided that we should treat ourselves and have a few drinks and something decent for tea. Leah was just coming out of a period of a dodgy stomach, so was ravenous for any kind of food. We found a restaurant that had been recommended in the lonely planet and set ourselves down for a night of beer and food.

After 5mins the TV behind Leah was showing pictures of tanks, guys running around the street with guns, buses alight and masked men running up the mountain being shot at. I started to think that it was unnecessary to show photos from South Wales to people in Rio but it became quickly apparent that this wasn’t Aberdare on a Saturday night but Rio today! The whole restaurant (which was rammed!) were transfixed by the incidents being played out on the television, this was totally different to the Rio that we had all been wandering around, working, eating and drinking in today. It appears that the government had enough of a few drug lords who had set up residency in one of the largest Favelas and decided to get a bit heavy handed – hence the tanks! (The scenes that we saw, were like something from the video game, Call of Duty)

We decided that our mam’s better know that we’re okay, so when we got in we dropped 

them a quick email to say that we were okay and that we’d seen nothing more offensive than some bad language and a lot of cloud.

After waking up we packed up our bags and headed for the Rodivario (Bus station in Portuguese). One final check of our dorm to make sure that we’ve got everything and then something bad happened, I realised that I’d be leaving something in the hostel. Yes, my arse!

Now I knew that I’d have travellers stomach on this trip and having spent 4 days hiking, staying in tents and getting to know nature I thought I’d been doing very well for it not to hit me. However, I have a 4 hour bus journey to deal with. This isn’t good….

The Inca Trail, Machu Picchu and the guinea pig….

Our sole purpose on coming to Peru was to visit Machu Picchu. When we signed up to visiting the lost Inca city I understood that you had to walk 4 days to get to it and the prize was to look down on the city from what is known as the “sun gate” then you and the few people that have walked the 41km with you would be “granted” access to the city. (In fact I had been game in trying to organise a game of hide and seek amongst the city’s ruins with our fellow travellers.)

Well, what a pile of lies. In fact I feel cheated, I’ll explain why later…

Anyway, our 7 day trip started with a welcome meeting the day before to explain what we could expect and what we would need to take with us. It became quickly apparent that we wouldn’t need to be digging holes in the ground to poo in and that we wouldn’t need to be eating cold beans out of a can. Both of which complement the other… We were told that we would need to be up ready for a 6am bus to the airport to fly to Cusco where we would meet up with the rest of our hide-and-seek team.

After arriving at Cusco we made our way to the bus, ready to take us to our hostel for the night and were confronted with women offering us “coca” to which I replied “Nah love I’m not thirsty”. Straight away our tour guide (Roger – A popular Inca name I’m told…) corrected me and told me it was Coca leaf she was offering me. Now, I don’t know much but I do know that Cocaine comes from Coca and it’s not good for you, this woman didn’t look like your usual typical drug pusher. For one she didn’t have a BMW, she wasn’t wearing any stone island clothing and wasn’t on the phone all the time.  However, Roger informs us all that Coca is legal here and is used for altitude sickness (Cuzco is 3300meters above sea level and the highest point of the trail was 4250meters) and would help us to deal with altitude along the hike, so I decided to buy a bag off the woman and get on the bus, Roger explained that I should start chewing the Coca to feel its effects.  After arriving at our hostel, checking in and getting our bags up to the room on the 3^rd floor, a feat I managed in less than 5 seconds, I was up for meeting our fellow travellers.

The rest of the day was spent getting to know everyone and a brief tour of Cuzco city we were told that we could take 6kg of clothing with us on the hike and the rest of our clothes would need to stay in Cuzco. So Leah and I spent the rest of the evening trying to get most of the stuff we’d need over the next 5 days into a 6kg bag. Pretty simple for me pants, socks, welsh top, towel, torch, pair of shorts and my tooth brush. It wasn’t quite so easy for Leah however, 4 hours later and the early night we’d had planned had gone out of the window. 

Now another side effect of altitude sickness that I hadn’t been prepared for was indecision.  I’d packed my bag in about 10mins and spent the rest of the night sat watching some dodgy Spanish dubbed film while Leah packed and unpacked her “essentials” to get her under the 6kg weight limit. As I watched her pack her I doubted that I’d packed my welsh top now I had to have this to get to Machu Picchu, so I checked my bag and I had. Phew, get back to bed I thought. 30mins later and I was back out of bed, panicking that I’d not packed my towel again, fortunately I had. Then as Leah was getting into bed, I suddenly thought that I hadn’t packed my torch, by this time I was well into the film and decided that it was obviously the altitude playing funny buggers with me or the bag of Coca I had chewed throughout the day… (I’ll let you decide.. My money was on the altitude)

We left the following morning to start the tour and arrive at where we would be spending a night in a village called Ollantaytambo (Pronounced oyan-tay-tambo). An hour bus ride through some of the most dramatic countryside I’ve seen since my last drive to Aberystwyth and we get to a little community, where the wives of all the porters that would be accompanying us on the hike worked. Here they spent their time producing ponchos, hats, gloves and more scarfs than you can shake a stick at. We leave here with some hats and a poncho, why I don’t know as we’re going into the southern hemisphere’s summer but Leah tells me that we’ll need them on the hike as it can drop below zero at night!!!

The following day is the start of the hike and we get to the start armed with our day bags, sunhats and walking poles. Somehow we become ramblers overnight…  Anyway 5km later and we arrive at the lunch stop and I’m hoping for some sandwiches and maybe a pack of Wotsits but we get a lot more than this. In fact, we get a 3 course lunch in a tent by the side of a river, fantastic! I can get use to this! After lunch, we rest then continue walking and get to the nights camp site with our tents already set up and a bucket full of the local brew – amazing. We rest, have a beer and get ready for bed. (This is almost too good to be true..)

The next morning we wake up at 5:30 to the most amazing view I can honestly say I’ve seen (aside from a fully cooked English done by my mam…) see below and see if you think it compares…

After breakfast we set off on day 2 and 12km, which included the highest point of the entire 4 day hike, 4250 meters and a place called “Dead womans pass”. After a full 5 hours walking uphill, we get to the point together, this was most definitely a significant achievement for us both and we were really looking forward to a rest and a beer! However, what goes up must come down our campsite is at 3300 meters and we spend the next few hours going down, down and down. We get to camp and to our surprise the chefs that have been cooking for us have baked us 2 cakes to celebrate the achievement of passing the highest point. Now baking a cake is an involved process when you’ve got a fully equipped kitchen and a fully operating oven, but these guys have only a gas bottle and a few pots and pans which they carry the whole Inca trail and these guys create two different flavours (One Orange and the other Chocolate covered in jelly)  

The final day sees us getting up before sunrise (4am!) ready to get to the “Sun Gate” where we were told we could look down on Machu Picchu from afar and see the sunrise, something that Leah was definitely looking forward to and something that I thought would be “Tidy”. Anyway we get up and set off, after queuing for the trail to open up we eventually get to the Sun Gate, well I think it should be renamed to “There’s-nothing-to-see-gate-when-its-cloudy-and-because-it-was-so-far-the-sun-is-already-up” not as catchy but honest and true for when we got there.

The following picture proves this…

We start our descent to Machu Picchu, en route we meet up with an American couple coming the other way. We’re both dressed in our welsh tops, proud as punch of this and they congratulate us both, as this was Sunday morning and Wales had played Fiji on Friday night. I thought, fair play if this American pair are congratulating us we must have stuffed them. (I initially thought that at their age that they were a bit brave in walking back up the hill that they must have walked down a few minutes ago but must have really wanted more photos with the Llamas en route so I discounted their freshness) So we continued to Machu Picchu to meet the rest of our team, all aware of my desire to play hide-and-seek.

After arriving there, we get the necessary photos with the city in the background (by this time the cloud had lifted, thank god…). Sadly it became clear that hide and seek wasn’t on the cards as it’s a place of national and world heritage and a few sections (of most hide-and-seek ability) were out of bounds, gutted isn’t the word.

The final part of the trip is Roger explaining the key facts of Machu Picchu and how the Inca’s built this city.  After two hours he explained that we would be travelling back down the mountain using the bus that had ferried all the other tourists up to the city. Hang on, I thought. We walked 41km to get to this place over 4 days and these bastards get here on the back up of a 16 seater… Unfair is not the word!

(BTW: As soon as I got to my laptop I found out that Wales hadn’t beaten Fiji so I guess the Americans must have been congratulating us on walking 41km over 4 days.. Cheers. :-( )

Our final night was spent in Cusco and as a group we all go out for a meal and over a few days I’ve given Roger and his side kick Rhody (AKA Antonio Banderas)  plenty of banter and they’ve explained to me and one of the other lads that the local delicacy is guinea Pig. So being a typical welsh bloke I don’t show any fear and order their finest guinea pig for my plate that evening (Thankfully they suggest that me and Dave share it.)

A few beers later and its tea time. Dave and I sit next to each other and the guinea pig is delivered to us on a plate, whole! Head, legs and claws in one… Now I was hoping for plenty of meat to tuck into but unfortunately they delivered us the Peter Crouch of guinea pigs and this bugger is as skinny and long as I’ve ever seen. They cut it up in four, remove the head and deliver it back to us.

The pictures below can describe it better than I can…

Disgustingly Roger eats the head and the brain and is pretty much the happiest boy in the park at this time leaving on the side of our plate the bloody jaw of the thing… What did it taste like?  No, it didn’t taste like chicken, in fact it tasted very rubbery and smelt of plastic and I definitely won’t be rushing back for it in future.

In all seriousness though, Roger and Rhody looked after us a treat and taught us a lot about the history of the Incas and kept us ticking over when the altitude got to us both. The porters and the chefs that accompanied us en route are legends, they ran the route ahead of us, each complete with 25kg  on their back containing all that we’d need for the trek. In fact one of our porters, actually holds the world record for running the full 41km of the Inca trail in 3 ¾ hours! (This is mental, I don’t think I could cover day 2 in 3 & ¾ hours..)

To celebrate his achievement we had a photo with the dude, as you can see he looks the happier one to be meeting us.

Our final day in Peru was spent showering and chilling out, I’d seen guys paragliding on the front at Miraflorres and had always wanted a go, thankfully the wind was good and I managed to get my chance at it. It was fantastic, so smooth and something that Leah definitely has to do somewhere on this trip.

Right that’s enough from me, thank you Peru you were great. The flight to Rio has nearly ended and I’ve missed all the films that were on offer, time to get some sleep.

More to come from Rio with a bit of luck….

Lima, a tale of two sides of the city

We arrived wearily in Lima last night about 7, complete with a full count of baggage including some unwelcome ones under our eyes!

After coming through customs and getting lucky on whether we needed to have our bags searched or not, we were confronted with hundreds of taxi and bus drivers (all fairy short and very dark) touting for business, but the thing I will never forget is the look on their faces, when they saw a 6ft 5” pasty bloke walking through. As we walked across the airport trying to find a toilet I could sense people pointing out my height to friends, then one taxi driver came to our rescue and decided that he knew the best route to the toilet. Leah left me in his capable company when she had a pee.

After two minutes of his company Ivan and I were the best of friends, he was not only going to take us to our hotel, he was also going to take us for a tour of the part of Lima we’re staying in. (Read – the long way around, with a few of the sight and sounds…) We discussed money and it was agreed that $25 would be the fare.

After two mins in Ivans taxi, I did like my dad use to tell me and put my seatbelt on pretty quickly. Jesus Christ, I thought my mother had a penchant for late braking and lane wandering but this guy took the biscuit, but after 30mins in his cab I quickly realised you must have to drive like this to exist in Lima as everyone was at it! After 30mins of speed bumps, lane swapping to find the fastest lane and cheating a few red lights Ivan is telling us about his kids, his elderly mother and if we liked to see them live, him being tipped well would help! He did however, give us some useful tips, such as: watch for the money you’re given as there’s a lot of them are fake, don’t go into central Lima during the night and we’d be okay. After dropping us off at our hotel, Ivan thought that our $5 dollar tip wasn’t too generous, to which my reply of: “That’s all you’re having butt!” Was met with a smile and a handshake from Ivan and he sped off to feed his extended family on a $5. (Incidentally – I have found out today that tipping in taxi’s isn’t expected and that you can get shit loads in Norky’s chicken take away for a $5 – Prick….)

With a few hours before we should go to bed, Leah and I decided to trace out steps that Ivan had shown us and find the local back packers area. We found a local sandwich place and decided to order the one thing that looked familiar to us on the menu. It was decided that I would go and order food and with my broken Spanish I returned hoping that we’d get what I wanted. RESULT! Two chicken sandwiches, something to drink and unexpectedly more sauces than you can shake a stick at, not just your usual ketchup and mayo but chilli sauce, mustard, tartare sauce and some pink shit.

November the 15^th…

Decided to go into central Lima today following Ivans advice to not go there during the night and visit there in the day. It was cold this morning with plenty of cloud covering us, after another shit-your-pants taxi ride we got to central Lima to find it really warm and yes, I forgot to cover my bonce in sun cream and have burnt the bloody thing, people in the airport will have a good laugh at me now as I resemble a swan vesta match!

Central Lima is totally different to the side of the city were staying in, which seems to be the wealthy side of the city (known as the Miraflores.) With a contrasting type of people living there, for those of you who have stayed somewhere where “Spliff, Charlie my friend?” Are often asked of you then you’ll know what I mean. Central Lima also had an unhealthy amount of KFC’s, McDonalds, Norky’s and Pardo’s chicken outlets (Yes, I know. Couldn’t get over it! Somebody tell Matthew that his cough his famous over here!)

Leah and I have quickly worked out that Health & Safety is optional in Peru, people cut the grass and clean the sides of the motorway without closing a lane. In fact, seeing a woman running across a lane to pick up a bottle of pop without any care for her own life, shows true dedication. Can’t imagine that happening back home, can you?

However, the one thing I can’t get over is the cars, now as most of you know my old man is fastidious of his cars and it’s rubbed off on me but Jeff Owens scrap yard would have a field day here.  Most cars showing some signs of damage from a bump, few of them have a full set of brake or even side lights, indication doesn’t exist and cutting up someone is in fact an art. To be honest, the taxi driver we had coming home from central lima was aiming for a gold medal. His taxi resembled a yellow version of the “murf mobile” from Waynes World. Sporting proudly a First Aid box in the back window, to be honest once we were in it, I was slightly worried that it had been nicked after most of the wires from under the dash were on full display. Though I decided we were okay once I saw the keys and the picture of his daughter on the dashboard (No boys, I wouldn’t….)

Cuzco tomorrow with a 5am start is enough to get me to bed as soon as possible tonight! We do know that there are 13 of us on the trek, so that should be cool. Let’s just hope that altitude sickness doesn’t get to us and that my ankle holds itself together…

The best of friends and an awesome family…

It’s been a long week, trying to fit everything in (literally – my bag) and saying good bye to everyone. As someone commented in my party, all this fuss for a few weeks in Marbella…

Leah and I just wanted to say thanks to Jan and my mum and dad for organising the party last week for us. It was amazing and as you know we’re going to miss you and the rest of the tribe loads while we’re away but we’ll see you when we’re back…

Huge thanks goes to Van for sorting out the boys and for Ami in arranging the girls..

Anyway, it was decided that we’d get all the boys together for a few beers and an Indian in Aberdare’s finest new Indian food establishment to make sure I go. (Seeing a hot dog getting knocked over wasn’t on the cards though…)

I just wanted to thank all the boys for a great night and for making my ribs hurt from laughing at you all taking the piss out of each other for 5 hours. I know I’ll look at this photo and remember the awesome mates I have back home. See you in a few months!

What a few days...

As I said in the last update, Leah and I had a sneaky suspicion that our parents were up to no good and we weren't mistaken. Well, actually we were mistaken. It was in fact, our friends, old colleagues and family that were up to no good!

For those of you that don't know, Leah and I that we were going out for food last Saturday with our families but in fact were lucky to have a surprise party thrown for us! Around a 100 people got together to celebrate us leaving! The first hour was a total blur, while we both took a time to take everything on board and go around and say hello to everyone! I have to apologies for my terrible attempts at a witty speech; thankfully Leah was there to rescue us though!

A great night was had and we have to thank everyone for their efforts in organising the party and thanks to all that attended, 'twas a brilliant night!

Following Saturday, its been busy seeing people for the last time and making sure that everything that needs to be done is done. Today has been especially busy, Jenkin St is now just home to the two of us with Paddy the fish now taking up residence in Hirwaun with Leah's mam. I'm sure she's going for the largest number of pets in home!

I'm updating this blog from the comfort of our bed, whilst Leah is apparently singing Karaoke in the boot in Aberdare! So it sounds like she’s making sure that she leaves a good impression on our Aberdare as we leave.

I’m having a beer and an Indian with the boys tomorrow night, bit of luck I won’t get too much of an hangover as we have around 48hours of travelling from Saturday night.

The last day….

Well I started this blog, with much gusto. I genuinely had the best of intentions of providing my family, friends and colleagues with a running updates on my feeling and attitude to the forthcoming trip. However, a very busy work schedule and lots of training ended up taking over my life rather than this blog. Though, I promise to make every effort over the next few months to keep this updated!

Work is out…

When we first had the opportunity to take this trip, we both thought that 6 months would be the most we could go for, hoping that we would both have jobs to come back to. Though, things haven’t worked out like that and we’ve both resigned from our jobs.

Leah finished work last week, which was a pretty emotional time for her. 8 years in a job that you quite like is a long time, especially when you build up a large group of friends.

I thankfully finished work today. I have, at times enjoyed the last year in my job but finishing today didn’t actually bring the relief that I thought it would, more an emptiness that I didn’t expect. I guess I no longer have work to hide behind! Perhaps they’ll have me back when we return…

All that’s left for to me to do is wash some clothes, make sure my iPod is full and start getting my sh*t together.

I now have one week of saying good bye, sorting things out, having a few beers with some good mates and spending the rest of the time stopping myself crying (Yes – I know I’m a big girl…)

Our families are up to no good so I’m sure that they’ve got something organised for us both too.  

For the first time in weeks, I can actually say I’m excited. There’s been lots of Machu Pichu on the telly with Fern Cotton and Denise Van Outen to Karl Pilkington and An Idiot Abroad. I actually feel like I’ve been there so that’s quite reassuring and is making me less apprehensive.

Anyway, that’s enough from me… More interesting updates to follow in two weeks time!

Introductions..

This is my first attempt at writing a blog, I may end up getting bored of it but as we have the most exciting 6+ months of our lives coming up. I thought it would be cool to set up a blog so that everyone can follow what we're up to. 


It should also give me something to do every day! So here we go...


The Trip


6+ Months of travelling around the world, getting to do some pretty cool stuff whilst not working (if we can help it!)


The route is -

• Heathrow to Madrid (Short Stop)
• Madrid to Lima (Peru) 
• Lima to Cuzco (Peru)
• Cuzco to Rio De Janeiro (Brazil)
• Rio to Buenos Aires (Argentina)
• Buenos Aires to Santiago (Chile)
• Santiago to Auckland (New Zealand)
• Auckland to Nadi (Fiji)
• Nadi to Sydney (Australia)
• Cairns to Melbourne (Australia)
• Melbourne to Singapore 
• Singapore to Heathrow...

Pretty scary stuff but some places that look amazing! We're fortunate enough to get to visit some friends en route that include: Nia in NZ and Dildo and Lex in Oz and with a bit of luck Paddington Bear in Peru!


There's a fair bit of stuff to sort out before we go including, the house, finishing work! (Yey...!!) and saying good bye to friends and family. We have less than 6 weeks to go...